


stubborn love

by cexies



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-25 00:24:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cexies/pseuds/cexies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>written for the hswc: bonus round: prompt;</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>She’ll lie and steal, and cheat, and beg you from her knees—make you think she means it this time. She’ll tear a hole in you, the one you can’t repair; but I still love her, I don’t really care</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	stubborn love

With their plummet to an unknown green planet over, Karkat begins to realize that this place could be the happiest he’s felt in—what’s now become literal—sweeps; it feels good to finally have his fears reassured, managing to slip in the cracks of John and Dave until he feels that maybe, _just maybe_ , he’s not squeezing in anymore. They tease and joke, prodding one another in the quiet lull of evening. As well as they all get on, Karkat knows it’s not all smooth sailing for everyone else.

His attention constantly flickers from his own fun to Terezi and Rose, both of whom look like they haven’t been sober in their whole lives. Rose often busies herself with Kanaya, almost as if to shield her own battle from John and Dave. On the other hand, Terezi mostly curls up into herself, spending just as much time asleep as she did passed out. He knows that if he keeps pushing her then she’ll snap, but he can’t allow himself to just leave her to her own thoughts. She deserves better than that, and the guilt in his stomach won’t sit right until he does something to help her.

As everyone falls asleep, Karkat makes his way over to her. He can see she’s still awake, eyes reflecting amber under the darkness of the planet. He doesn’t know what she’s staring at, but placing money on a memory of Vriska is probably be a good start.

"How are you holding up?" He asks, moving closer and quickly scanning her face for an evaluation. She jumps then, leaving a frown to decorate his features. As much as they know she and Rose are getting better, their reactions still prove that they’re still inches away from being shadows.

"Good." It’s an autopilot reply, deepening Karkat’s frown even further.

"You don’t look ‘good’, Terezi."

"That’s rude," she deadpans, face neutral until it splits into a smile at Karkat’s slow understanding that yes—she is joking. They lapse into a small silence, only broken when Terezi sighs softly. "You don’t have to worry about me Karkat. I said I’d stop; I did."

"You know we’re—as in, Dave and I—we’re proud of you right?" Karkat fumbles, wanting to give her encouragement, needing some way to convey how much he wants her to know that they care: that they’re there even if she pushes them away.

She laughs at him then, shrill and laced with sarcasm. 

"There’s nothing to be proud of."

He looks at her with exasperation, unsure just how many times he can sit and gush over her before it isn’t effective anymore. How does she continuously disregard how much she means: how much worth she’s proven herself of? Karkat can only look at her with an forlorn expression, sighing as she breaks eye contact first. They remain in silence then, almost as if to be in solitude from one another. He’s frustrated at her, but not enough to move away. Karkat Vantas doesn’t give up when the going gets rough—not anymore. Maybe, he hopes, Terezi will end up that way again too.

Or maybe not, he worries, as she slowly sinks against him. Terezi ends up pressing against him, wriggling around until Karkat has no choice but to drape an arm over her. His body pounds with hope:  _Don’t set yourself up Vantas. Don’t think this is something it isn’t._  Each fiber of his being is concentrated on the sleepy sigh that leaves Terezi’s lips, head rolling onto his shoulder. Warily, he tries to shift so that her horns don’t pierce through him, but the movement only leaves her falling closer against him. His head throws back in frustration, wondering if this is another punishment for his failures.

They share silence together for a while longer, Karkat forcing himself to keep calm. He has to admit how safe it feels to have her around him: eliciting a false sense of being able to protect her. Maybe even love her openly again. Such dangerous thoughts are cut off as Terezi shivers, and he instinctively pulls her closer. The shivering doesn’t stop, and it’s only then that he notices the tremors aren’t from the cold.

"Hey: hey," Karkat murmurs, slightly alarmed by the almost sudden change in her confidence. Terezi presses her head further into him, as if it can somehow cover up what they both know.

"I miss him," she whispers, each syllable cutting pieces of him that Karkat thought were already damaged enough. If he tries to be selfish enough, Karkat can pretend that she said something else—the thing he wants to hear most. Instead, reality is crippling. The worst part is how he can’t even get away to clear his head: the person he loves most is clinging to him at her most vulnerable and now isn’t the time to be thinking about himself.

"It’s okay," he soothes, lips forcing the words as he tries to ignore his selfish disappointment. "Things will get better." Apart from he has no idea if they will. Instead he wants to scream at her, _why can’t you just leave him alone_? He wants to help her, and more than anything he wants to stand by her side again as best friends—but everything is one step forwards, and two steps back.

It’s in the quiet of her muffled sobs that Karkat realizes—it takes one person to give up an object: but two people to give up a relationship.


End file.
